Te Anau

We spent two nights in Te Anau, the “doorway to the Fiordlands” that make up the southwestern quarter of the South Island. It’s a gorgeous town on the second-largest lake in New Zealand, with phenomenal views of water, mountains, and forest. However, it has a funny name. Not funny “ha, ha,” but funny “hmmm.” There does not seem to be a reasonable consensus on its proper pronunciation.

On the ride from Dunedin [pronounced dun-EE-din] to Te Anau, we discovered that our bus driver was also an impromptu tour guide. (Did we know we’d be getting a commentary? If we had, we might have offered them more money.) He would point out scenic areas as we drove through them, note historical details of interest, and mention where someone staying the night in a certain town might like to get a drink. Oh, and when we came to Te Anau he dropped us off right at our backpacker. Good guy. But he didn’t know how to pronounce Te Anau.

By now you’re probably reading the name “Te Anau” and trying out pronunciations in your head. (Actually, I’m betting on it; otherwise this entry loses some dramatic tension.) If you’re like me, then you’re actually mouthing the name in a half-vocalized, half-whisper in an attempt to wrap your voice box around it without seeming totally mad to those around you. Or to your cat, who likely already thinks you’re mad.

First off, let’s remember that Te Anau, like so many other names in New Zealand is Maori, the language of the native Pacific Islanders of New Zealand. (The name of the people is also Maori, pronounced—ach, we better not get into that.) I picked up a few gems from a book, “Beginner’s Maori,” that I perused on the flights over. “Te” is the singular definite article in Maori: “the.” Like English, the definite article does not carry the emphasis of pronunciation. (For those of you I’ve lost, try saying any noun+article, like “the butter,” with the emphasis on “the.” See? It sounds weird, doesn’t it?) The “e” in Te is supposed to be pronounced like the “ay” in day or bay or say, yielding a phonetic “Tay.” But many New Zealanders—either in an attempt to confuse the tourists or perhaps out of boredom—change it to an “ee” sound, as in bee or see, or pee for that matter. Our bus driver/tour guide used these two pronunciations in about a 70/30 ratio, respectively.

In Maori two- or three-syllable words, the strong emphasis is placed on the first syllable. So in the “Anau” portion of the word would have the emphasis on the first “A.” My understanding is that the Maori tongue has a predominantly long “a,” which is usually found in “o”s in American English: top, mop, lop. But European New Zealanders tend to shorter the sound to the “a” of Americans’ tap, map, lap. Our bus driver, bless his heart, had about a 50/50 distribution in this syllable.

The Maori apparently gave every vowel its own distinct sound. New Zealanders don’t do that; they slur those dipthongs into messy piles of tone. Like the Quebecois do to French. So what the Maori might have pronounced “Te-A-na-u” is now pronounced “Te-A-now.” All right, I gave much of the last syllable away, but you’re probably getting tired of this linguistics lesson. So let’s review. The possibilities are:

tay O-no-oo
tay O-now
tay O-na-oo
tay O-naw
tay A-no-oo
tay A-now
tay A-na-oo
tay A-naw
tee A-no-oo . . . you get the point. There are lots of permutations.

I said earlier that our bus driver/tour guide didn’t know how to pronounce it. I know that because he used every permutation of pronunciation at least once. And with four drop-offs, one snack break and a potty stop along the way, he said it a lot of times. Whatever “it” was. I still don’t know how to pronounce it. And I’ve been there for two days. Somehow, however, I don’t think it would have done any good to ask anybody.

I need to find a full-blooded Maori. Maybe then I can get the real deal.

At the end of all this, you’re probably expecting me to tell you what “Te Anau” means. I would if I were you, as well. But I’m not. Because I can’t. I have no idea what it means.

~ emrys