Worlds Collide

At certain moments the forces of the world cause spiraling vortices to form and touch down upon the earth of mortal humanity. When these forces carry with them great power, the vortices manifest in magnificent columns of splendour that can be so extraordinary as to incite wonder, amazement, and fear.

For example, the tornadoes that appear in the plains of the Midwest United States form when two converging weather fronts crash into each other and--through the wonders of atmospheric physics--form a spinning, twisting cone that ravages the countryside.

I experience one of those vortices on a regular basis, though its manifestation does not extend from soil to sky; rather it extends into the dual abysses of American culture and cyberspace.

I use gmail, the Google-based email system, for my electronic correspondence. One of the claims-to-fame of Google (and therefore gmail) is its ability to search vast amounts of data for strings of letters and numbers. Type a word into the search field, and in no time (or about 0.14 seconds for a popular word) you've got a list of frequented websites featuring your word. Gmail uses Google's gift of searching in its interface in a few ways: you can search your own mail for names and words; you can search the web via Google from your personal mailbox; and gmail searches the net to find (text-only, thank Google!) adverts that pertain to the words found in your emails. Those adverts are then placed inoffensively on the side-bar or in a one-liner above your messages.

For instance, the emails sent between me and the organist regarding Christmas Eve services bring adverts on the right side for a "Great Christmas Vacation Idea: San Antonio 3 Nights for $139!"

The Goliath power of Google to search the net forms the first front that collides overhead. The other is a quintessential American icon: Spam.

Spam only has two meanings: the processed meat product intended for stocking nuclear fallout shelters; and the accretion of unwanted emails in one's inbox. So when I click on my "Spam" box for my gmail account (where mass-emails are filtered and shunted), Google really has only two subjects that will come up when it performs its targeted search. And in my experience, Google very rarely finds new items relating to the sending of unwanted emails. So what do I get when American culture and cyberspace collide in the one-line advert of my Spam box?

Recipes for:
"spicy Spam kabobs";
"Spam vegetable strudel (Bake 20 minutes or until golden, serve with soy sauce";
"French Fry Spam casserole";
"Spam quiche (makes 4 servings" if you can find 4 people to eat it);
"Spam Swiss pie (Bake 45-55 minutes or until eggs are set" or have jumped out of the pan).

What response can I have to this phenomenon but wonder, amazement, and a little fear? There's no place like home. There's no place like home. There's no place like home . . .

~e