Always a Reason

My first mistake was breaking the pipe.

While working on the stone patio and walkway in 2007, I uncovered a perforated, four-inch PVC pipe just below the surface of the ground. In order to put in the gravel and sand for the patio foundation, I cut off the last six feet of the pipe. (I write "cut off," but in fact I remember whacking at it with my spade until it broke off, leaving a jagged end by the retaining wall.) So focused was I on getting the patio done that I did not stop to think about the purpose that pipe served.

In my line of work, I encounter suffering with some regularity. I participate in numerous conversations around folks' response to suffering. One response I hear often from the pious facing pain or struggle whose cause cannot be readily identified, is "Everything happens for a reason." When I ask what the reason for this particular trial might be, I usually receive an affirmation of faith that God is in control of everything, and God is reasonable, so everything happens for a reason.

I'm not entirely sure this line of thinking is valid or sound, but it is not my calling to condemn those who hold to it. Whether or not the attribution of ubiquitous reasonability applies to God, I do in any case find the assertion of little use. At worst it seems to dodge more difficult, more important questions; at best, the logic becomes circular.

I am finding, however, that when applied to humans, "everything happens for a reason" is both true and useful. The more I ask into folks' experience and decision-making, the more I find that few people do things randomly. There is always a reason.

I finished the patio and went on to the next item in the endless list of projects that is homeownership. Two years later, I began construction on the pellet shed. The southeast corner of the shed sits next to the location of the capped end of a four-inch PVC pipe just below the surface of the ground. Never having seen this pipe before, I pulled off the cap and discovered it empty. The last thing I want on our property is something that might collect standing water in which mosquitoes can breed. So I filled it in with dirt. Then I went back to the pellet shed.

Everybody does things for a reason. We have habits, which cause us to step outside and smoke something, or chew on something if we can't get outside. We repeat behaviors our parents did, which cause us without thinking to go shopping or strike someone we love. We have emotions, which enter by the back door and take control until we say or do things that seem insane to those around us.

I am surprised by how reason-able people are, even in their crazier moments. When we dig deeply enough in conversation, we unearth motives, thoughts, and memories that would not otherwise gain attention. And often they are directly linked to actions which the actors themselves would rather not have committed. What freedom it is to discover the reasons behind something we wish to be rid of!

A few weeks after I filled in that pipe, we had a week of very wet weather. The side of the house on which that pipe was found faces the uphill slope; ground level is about five feet up the exterior wall. After a week of rain, the southwest corner of the living room became moist, and mold began to grow at the base of the wall. At that point, I put three and four together, and realized that I had filled up (and earlier, cracked the end off) our home's French drain. Ignorant of the reason for the pipe, I had clogged the thing which diverted groundwater from our house.

I went out and dug out the pipe I'd filled, until I could see down to the T where it met the horizontal drain. Then I tore up the patio around the cracked end of the pipe so that future water would have somewhere to go. I resolved, in the near future, to finish the end of the pipe and rebuild the patio. That was last summer.

Someone more famous than I once said (or wrote) that "an unexamined life is not worth living." This piece of wisdom has rung true for me for a long time. I think part of the examination of life is digging into the reasons why we do things. To understand our motives allows us more opportunity for repentance, change, and joy. And such circumspection would have saved me much time and effort on my back patio.

~ emrys