Vignettes from a Day Off: Part II

The Last Refuge of Haggling

"Aw, man! You're killin' me!"

This is something I thought only salesmen in the movies said. No real live human being says this as a tactic in negotiation, does he? Not even a used car salesman, certainly? Now I half expected him to tell me that his kids were going without shoes and they didn't have coats for the winter, even though it's only July.

But he said it indeed. "Aw, man! You're killin' me!"

Now, to be fair, I had offered him $6,200 for a car that was priced at $6,999. But I had done my research. Kelly Blue Book told me that a used car dealership could expect to pick up a Hyundai Elantra 2005 hatchback for $4,500. Put a thousand into repairs and sprucing, and that brings him to $5,500 invested. I could work him down from that sticker price.

Well, he didn't go the "kids in bare feet" route. Instead he made a personal appeal: he's a nice guy, easy to get along with. He's an honest guy, not out to gouge anybody. Well, I thought, this is good, because I'm not ready to be gouged.

"I can come down to $6,600." $399 off, just like that. Sweet.

I have only haggled one other time within my memory. I was in an open market in Portugal, June of 2000, trying to get my hands on a copper teapot for making mate (that's MAH-tay, the South American tea). In Mediterranean cultures, haggling is much more acceptable. In fact, I'm told, on the east end of the Mediterranean it's considered gauche not to haggle. It would be similar to saying, "You're beneath me, so I won't haggle with you." It's a sort of social game.

By the way, I only paid two-thirds the marked price for the teapot. Which means the seller only made a 500% profit. But I had haggled. Not very American of me. But kind of fun, nonetheless.

Now this guy says he can do $6,600.

Sara and I walked onto the lot knowing that we had $7,200 dollars to spend on a vehicle, and a 2005 Hyundai Elantra fit our needs for gas mileage (30+) and maintenance record (very good). If you take $7,200 and subtract New York State sales tax, you get about $6,600. Just what this guy offered.

But now I'm into the game. Sara's got a checkbook in her wallet, and we've got the money to spend on the spot. Those are two powerful negotiating tools. I also have the subtle knowledge that if this vehicle doesn't work out the way I want, I can walk off the lot and find another one next week. That's the best tool to have in the haggler's toolbox: the ability to walk away without anxiety. So I can try for a little more.

"I'll tell you what: I can write you a check right now for $6,550. That's as high as I can go." No excuses, no sob stories: just showing him the money.

I think he starts to sweat at this point, but the weather was a little hot that day. He waffled a bit, ruffling the seller's feathers. I let him do it. I felt no small exhiliration at the idea that I might successfully haggle him down below what we had budgeted for a car.

He paused for a long moment. "All right, I'll take it."

And then it was over, just like that. The game was finished. Who knows how much profit he had made on our transaction? I don't need to know. I had entered the last refuge of haggling in the United States--a land where the first line of decision on what to buy is the price tag--and I had gained $400. What fun!

"Wow," said Sara as we got in our car to drive home. "You drive a hard bargain."

~emrys